I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
