Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
