so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
