He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
