Where is the hickey?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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