Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
