If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
