After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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