dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
