I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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