If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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