didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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