Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
