I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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