She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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