Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
