There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
