i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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