I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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