what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
