the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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