don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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