Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's Friday. Sex?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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