READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
