Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
