we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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