Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
