This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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