I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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