dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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