If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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