she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize