What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
