I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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