The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
