I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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