let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
