Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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