I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
