shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
