Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
