Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
