He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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