yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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