Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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