they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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