Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
