dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
