Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
