Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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