Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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