I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Welp...herpes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
