After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
