But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
