Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize