Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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