I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
