Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
