you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize