I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
high people should be assigned attendants
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
