I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
