My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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