My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
